tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17507628268594370052024-03-12T20:52:34.043-07:00Endo From The HeartHeartfelt musings on living with endometriosis from the mind of a passionate endo-sister Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-44873892392578167052014-12-08T18:00:00.002-08:002014-12-08T18:00:58.581-08:00My TRIP TO THE CENTER FOR ENDOMETRIOSIS CARE (CEC) Part One<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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PART ONE: Getting ready for our trip</div>
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2 weeks until departure for Atlanta, GA</div>
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November 18<sup> </sup>2014- December 2, 2014 </div>
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Long Island, New York</div>
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<br /></div>
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The past two weeks have been a frenzied whirlwind of lists
and errands obviously too arduous for my aching and exhausted body to
accomplish. I have poured every fiber of my being into planning our trip down
to the very last detail while simultaneously devising strategies to ensure that
the kids will have a smooth and tear-free transition to their Grammy and Poppy’s
house for the five days Elie and I are away. I credit a combination of my obsessive
personality, adrenaline, and pain killers for the seamless way it all seems to
be transpiring. The truth is, <span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">I know I should be taking some time to think about the
upcoming surgery, carve out a few moments to prepare myself for the emotional
and physical toll it will take on me but my mind has strategically sequestered
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details of our trip to trickle through. </span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not until our
plane is gathering speed on the tarmac that all of my ‘to do’ lists evaporate from
my brain and the sudden realization of the gravity of the upcoming event takes their
place. ‘What-ifs’ in every shape and size flood my mind, nauseating me as I
wonder what I would do if the surgery is not successful. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How will
I return from Atlanta to all of those who helped me get there and tell them it
was all for naught? What will I do if the doctor tells me he found nothing in
my insides that could be causing pain and has no idea where my pain is coming
from? How will I find the strength to continue to fight if the current physical
and emotional agonies that dictate my life have no foreseeable end? </i></div>
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As my terrified thoughts multiply, the cool hand of my levelheaded
husband slides its way into mine, slowing down my manic brain and heart. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Together with his indisputably reasonable and
comforting words, I am able to tentatively land my thoughts in optimistic
territory. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It will be alright</i>, I tell myself firmly; It has to be.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-87152020197291081742014-03-06T20:11:00.000-08:002014-03-06T20:11:18.100-08:00WHO IS AN ENDO-SISTER?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footer"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of figures"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Who is an endo-sister? She is a strong, determined woman who
fights fiercely and loves deeply. She tries her best. She is not lazy or
pathetic and she doesn’t give up. She may not sugarcoat the painful emotions
and terrifying symptoms that she deals with. Her honesty may even frighten you.
But when you meet an endo-sister, you are meeting a proud, indomitable warrior.
A soldier who goes into the fire on a daily basis and emerges with a thicker
skin time and time again. A woman who should not be pitied for her pain, but
admired for her ever-present resilience and strength. THAT is an endo-sister.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: yellow;"></span><br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-82724250969673126702013-11-22T09:17:00.000-08:002013-11-22T09:17:11.931-08:00My Husband<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 21.0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">I think the title is self-explanatory...</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 21.0pt;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 21.0pt;">I’m broken
and shattered</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 20.0pt;">Feel beat
up and battered</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 19.0pt;">I just cannot
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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">Preparing
to lose it</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 17.0pt;">Darkness
abound</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">There’s no
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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">My
overstuffed load</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Is about
to explode</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 13.0pt;">No good is
left</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I’m completely
bereft</span></div>
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Lost all of my might</div>
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<span style="font-size: 9.0pt;">Falling
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-52209319969151246542013-11-12T13:15:00.000-08:002013-11-14T08:11:50.676-08:00My Angels<i>Last night was one of the best nights of my life. The Endo Warrior's launch party was inspiring, uplifting and a total blast! It was truly humbling to see the amount of people who came out on a weeknight to stand up to endometriosis and support those who have it. I was honored to be asked to speak at this party and I wanted to share my speech with all of you. Please note that everything that I say is, as always, 100% true and from the heart.</i><br />
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is night. Impenetrable darkness thicker than cotton engulfs you as you
frantically struggle to find your way. The blackness around you seems foreign
and foreboding, causing your heart to beat wildly and chills to dance a steady
waltz on your back. Your movements are</span><span style="color: red; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">frantic but purposeful as you propel
your body forward into the unknown, determined to find your way. You reach out,
desperate to find a tree to lean on or a stump to rest your aching body on. But
there is only the impervious night, stretched out in front of you like a dare.
You are lonely, so lonely, and afraid, so terribly afraid. Branches snap
sharply under your feet, startling your already terrified heart, and for the
millionth time that minute, you find yourself wishing you could give up, lie on
the frozen ground, and let yourself go. But instead you continue on: stumble,
trip, fall and rise, stumble, trip, fall, and rise- a morbid dance that never
seems to stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until one moment, when
instead of rising, you find yourself falling further and further into an abyss,
as if you are being pulled down by an imperceptible weight. Your body feels
heavier than its usual immensity, as it pulls you lower and lower until rock
bottom becomes a terrifying certainty. You shout a desperate prayer to whomever
or whatever you believe is out there,
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I can</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">t do this any longer! Help me! Don</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">t let me fall!</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">
as you concede to yourself that your situation can only get worse.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span>
<br />
<div class="Body1" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">And
then it happens. At that very moment when you have officially let go, that
moment when you brace yourself to hit rock bottom, a miracle occurs. A flock of
gorgeous angels ventures towards you, each angel a different color and size,
unique in her own beautiful way. As the flock approaches, you begin to notice
that your body feels suddenly lighter, less exhausted and less painful.
"You can do it," you hear them whisper intensely, "we're here
for you." And just as your body grazes the bottom of the abyss, you repeat
their mantra, "I can do it, and they are here for me." To your
delight and astonishment, the moment you finish the last word, a set of wings,
fiery yellow and stunningly bright burst from behind, and you begin to fly up,
weightless and secure. The pure light of friendship and belonging guides your
way as you fly off with your new flock, not completely healed, but certain of
one thing: you are no longer alone. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">--</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I
have been living with the incapacitating and overwhelming disease of
endometriosis for the past fourteen years of my life. I began displaying
symptoms at age fifteen and was diagnosed at twenty six after a long and
arduous journey. It took ten years of my life to convince doctors, my family,
and myself that there was something wrong with me and that the symptoms that I
was experiencing: infertility, excruciating and debilitating pain, fatigue and
bowel and bladder issues, were not normal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was sent from doctor to doctor, gynecologist to gastroenterologist,
neurologist to urologist and finally, to a psychiatrist. I was told the only
way to "fix" me would be to put me on antidepressants, as the
symptoms I had were "all in my head."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I frequently visited the hospital, sometimes for many days at a time as
I could not function with the pain. The day I was diagnosed with endo was one
of the most liberating and validating days of my life. Unfortunately, the days
since then have been much more difficult. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">About
six months ago, I felt as though I was walking in the pitch dark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was depressed, overwhelmed, lost and
hurting. I couldn</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">t take care of my children or give them or my husband the
love and attention they deserved. I could barely take care of myself as the
pain and fatigue I experienced every minute completely debilitated me.
Everything is my life felt upside down and out of control. No doctor seemed to
be able to help, despite the three laparoscopies and a hysterectomy that I
endured. It was though I was falling down a hole, on my way to hitting rock
bottom with no hope for the future.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">It
was at that desolate and dismal time that I found my angels. I was doing some
research online for the book I am writing about endometriosis when I discovered
a group of women called the Endo Warriors, led by the immensely special Nichole
Malachi, Jill Fuerich and Jordan Davidson. I was thrilled to learn that they
were having a support group three days later in a place that was very close to
where I lived. I signed up and counted down the days to the meeting. Just
having the event to anticipate gave my life a weightlessness and purpose that I
hadn</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">t had in a while.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish you could have all seen me during that
meeting. I had a ridiculous smile on my face the whole time and kept yelling
out things like, </span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">hey, me too!</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">
and </span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">yea, I know what you</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">re
talking about!</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"> My world was suddenly like a newly painted picture,
bright, cheerful, and finally complete. I finally felt like I could go on with
my life; that I had women who understood just what I was going through, who
would never leave me or let me let go. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body1" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">In
a selfless, comforting and knowledgeable way, the Endo Warriors have given me
my life back. They have provided me with information about dealing with
endometriosis, named doctors for me to go to, connected me with other women who
are struggling, and given me a reason to live beyond the suffering. They let me
know that I am not alone, that any time I cry, any time I hurt or lose hope,
they are right there with me, holding my hand, or carrying my broken heart.
Without them, I don</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">t know where I would be. They are my supporters, my best
friends, my beautiful angels.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 300%; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">
</span><br />
<div class="Body1" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 300%; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"> <i>Please let me know what you think!! I would love to hear some comments! </i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 300%; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">
</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 300%;"></span>
<br />
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<br /></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-78589522612053287312013-10-06T13:55:00.004-07:002013-10-06T13:55:52.115-07:00Endo Warriors: the songHey All,<br />
My very talented friend Casey (author of the blog chancesour.blogspot.com) wrote a beautiful song about what it means to be an "Endo Warrior." I was honored to be asked to sing it, and we recorded it and posted it on you tube. We would love for you to watch it and share it! <br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple;"> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTltZ84T-7M</span><br />
<br />
Here are the words: <br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">People say I’m crazy,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That I’m just not strong enough.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">People say I’m lazy,</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That it’s time that I get tough.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">They don’t understand,</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This pain I can’t ignore.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It hurts with every breathe,</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can’t take it anymore.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Chorus:</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I may not be strong enough or tough enough for you.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You may not choose to see my reality as truth. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But, I’ll no longer listen to your words that are only
hurting me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am a warrior you will see. </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Surgery after surgery</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The many scars run so deep.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And yet it always seems,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nothing brings relief. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hard to keep my head up,</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Feel so all alone.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Countless hours spent, </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">With my heating pad at home. </span></div>
<br />
Chorus<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I may not be strong enough or tough enough for you.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You may not choose to see my reality as truth. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But, I’ll no longer listen to your words that are only
hurting me. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am a warrior you will see. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bridge</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s time we come together and stand as one in pain.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s time for once our cries aren’t heard in vain. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If we lean on each other our power will not wane. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The mountains I have climbed,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">One day you will understand</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then you’ll finally know</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">How strong I really am.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Chorus:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I may not be strong enough or tough enough for you.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You may not choose to see my reality as truth. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And I’ll keep fighting this disease that has completely ravaged
me.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am a warrior you will see. </span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Endowarrior you will see. </span><br />
<br />
**Please let me know what you think!!**Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-8462310675081855982013-10-06T07:13:00.000-07:002013-10-06T07:13:46.678-07:00The Emotional Suffering of Women with Endometriosis<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<i>Your friend tells you she has endometriosis. Being the
wonderful friend you are, you know just what to do. You go online, type in
“endometriosis” and begin to read what you should expect her to be dealing
with. </i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Alright</span><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">,</span> you think to yourself,
</i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">she has irregular and painful periods.</span><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span>Continue on to the next line. </i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oh, that really stinks. She may have some
trouble conceiving and I’ll bet she has pain during sex.</span><i> You read on. </i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Bowel and bladder issues? Fatigue? Wow,</span><i> you
muse, genuinely distraught, </i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I sure am
glad I don’t have endo!</span></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Of course you’ll be correct about all those symptoms. After
all, when has the internet ever been wrong? And you really are a great friend
for caring enough to research what she goes through. Unfortunately for your friend,
and for the rest of us who suffer from endometriosis, the internet does not
tell the whole story. You see, for every physical ailment that infiltrates the
life of a woman with endometriosis, there is an emotional component that is equally,
if not more, devastating. </i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">GUILT</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Guilt is like an itchy woolen sweater that is two sizes too
small: suffocating, uncomfortable, and in desperate need of being shed. It permeates
the many aspects of the lives of women with endometriosis and makes us miserable.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of us feel guilty for just having
the endo to begin with, as we erroneously wonder what we did wrong to deserve this
disease. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guilt is common for those of us
who are spouses or girlfriends and cannot give our significant others the emotional
or physical attention they need. We feel guilty that our close friends and
family have to spend their days taking care of us when we are incapacitated. We
also feel guilty when we feel as though we are idling around the house while
the rest of the world is working hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
feel guilty for canceling plans that we made weeks ago, or not being able to
make plans to begin with due to pain. Guilt crushes those of us with children
when we cannot take care of them the way they deserve to be taken care of. It
can sometimes overwhelm us when we are asked to play with our kids or put them
to sleep, and we can’t even get off the couch. When we are trying to conceive unsuccessfully,
we feel guilty for not being able to give our spouses the children they so
desire. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guilt is a truly ubiquitous feeling
in the lives of women with endo.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">ANGER</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Imagine being told that the agonizing pain you feel every
second of every day is not real, that you are making a big deal out of nothing.
How would you feel? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anger? Rage? Imagine
being told that you are a “druggie” when you ask your doctor for pain
medication to ease the misery you are dealing with. Anger again? Or how would
you feel towards “God” or “The Universe” if you let your mind wander to the
opportunities you would have if you didn’t have endo? It’s hard not to be furious
when you think of everything you are missing or losing due to this disease. What
if you’ve tried for years to get pregnant with no success or just miscarried the
child you’ve wanted all of your life. And imagine being so debilitated by your
symptoms that you are unable to perform your everyday activities. How would you
feel? Frustrated? Angry? That’s exactly the way we feel.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">JEALOUSY<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For women with endo, jealousy rears its ugly head when we
see other people performing activities that we are too sick or fatigued to
perform. It is hard not to be jealous of a healthy person when you are stuck in
bed, too exhausted to move, or lying on the couch, writhing in pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jealousy is also inevitable when we see other
people with their two children, or pregnant with their third while we would
give our right hands just to conceive one child. Just seeing someone go food
shopping without discomfort causes jealousy within us, as we would do anything
to be able to perform everyday activities without pain. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">LONELINESS</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, many of us are lucky enough to have some sort of
support system in our lives. And don’t get us wrong, we are enormously thankful
for that support. But there is a profound, hollow loneliness that sometimes
overwhelms us when it occurs to us that despite their best efforts, our loved
ones cannot fully understand what we are going through. It is impossible to
fully convey the physical and emotional turmoil that we deal with on an
everyday basis. Even our endo-sisters cannot completely comprehend our
individual suffering, as every person suffers uniquely. We are therefore
sometimes led to feel as though there is no one as miserable as ourselves, no
one going through what we go through. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there is no thought lonelier than that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">MOURNING/LOSS</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are many women whose lives with endometriosis are full
of loss and mourning. On a basic level, any woman who lives with endo might
feel that they mourn the loss of a “normal”, illness-free life. For those of us
who are prevented from having the spouse or significant other we desire, the
loss of partnership is profoundly felt. Women who are trying desperately to
conceive but are unsuccessful mourn the loss of their motherhood. Additionally,
those of us who have had the miserable but common experience of having a
miscarriage feel a deep, inconsolable loss that remains with us forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lastly, women who have had hysterectomies
often mourn intensely as they experience personal loss in two ways: the loss of
potential children, and the loss of their womanhood.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">EMBARRASSMENT</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s very simple. Endometriosis is a disease that has to do
with menstruation, sex and female body parts<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">. </b>Should we be embarrassed when speaking of those things?
Absolutely not. Does society teach us to be? Unfortunately, yes. So while we
endo-sisters attempt to speak to others about our illness and educate them, we
are often met with embarrassed or disgusted looks. And that causes us to be
embarrassed about having a disease that we obviously did not choose to have.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">DEPRESSION/HOPELESSNESS/DESPAIR
</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, depression. That dark, suffocating feeling when the
world looks like it has no color in it and our futures seem murky and unclear.
Depression is a very common symptom for those who suffer from a chronic
disease, as there is no tangible hope for a cure. For women with endo,
depression can be caused by many different things. Being alone all the time,
not being able to spend time with family and friends due to pain, fatigue or
other symptoms is depressing. Excruciating pain is depressing. The possibility
of us never being able to have children or a family is depressing. Feeling like
our illness is misunderstood is depressing. Feeling like we need to be
embarrassed of our illness is depressing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And lastly, the thought that there might be no
hope for our recovery, that we might have to deal with the incapacitating
symptoms of endo for the rest of our lives is the most depressing thought of all.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FEELINGS OF INCOMPETENCE</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Due to the symptoms of endo such as pain, bowel and bladder
issues, intense fatigue, and pain during sex, women with endo often feel inadequate.
We feel like we lack the ability to do anything important, like our jobs, or
household work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Relationships with our
spouses, kids, parents, siblings or even friends are often placed on the back
burner as we struggle to merely exist in our difficult lives. This inability to
maintain relationships, keep our jobs, take care of ourselves or family members
or even have sex with our spouses overwhelms us with feelings that we are
incompetent, useless, and valueless. Some of us even feel as though our
existence on this earth is pointless if we can’t be functioning members of
society. Feelings of incompetence can also lead to depression, embarrassment,
guilt, and rage.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>So there you have it. Women with endometriosis suffer on two
levels: the physical and the emotional. While the physical symptoms are more
commonly spoken about and documented, the emotional turmoil that we go through
is often neglected. So, the next time you try to give your friend or relative
the support she needs and deserves, try to remember that there is a very strong
emotional component to this disease that should never be overlooked. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
**Are there any other emotional symptoms that you think should
be on here? Please feel free to comment and let me know!**</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-44099891180569486292013-09-29T18:20:00.001-07:002013-09-29T18:20:54.247-07:00Topics<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The following topics are going to be the chapters in my
book. I will be having about five to ten women write for each of the topics. I
have added questions under each topic to give you some guidance as to what to
write about. Remember that they are only suggestions and do not have to be the
only questions answered. You can write anywhere from a few sentences to a couple of pages. Try to be original and stay away from just writing your basic
story. Instead, try poetry, pros, journal format etc. as they are all great
ways to express yourself and tend to be a bit more interesting. </div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
TOPICS TO WRITE ABOUT
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1. People telling you
that the pain and suffering you experienced was “all in your head”</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How did it make you feel when they said that?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Who told you that?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Did you believe them?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-If no, did you fight them on it?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Did it delay your diagnosis or treatment seeking?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">2. The journey
towards getting a diagnosis and the day you found out you had endometriosis</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>-How did you find out
you had endo?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How old were you when you were diagnosed?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What made you seek out a diagnosis to begin with-what were
your symptoms?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Was it difficult to get a diagnosis-how long did it take
before you were diagnosed? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Had you heard of endo before you were diagnosed? What had
you initially thought it was?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How did you deal with telling your family/loved ones that
you had this disease?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Did you research it after you found out/was the research
what you expected?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How did you feel: relieved, devastated etc.?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pain/pain medication</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How would you describe the pain?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How do you deal with pain?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What does the pain prevent you from doing/ how does the
pain affect your life?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How do pain meds affect your life?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What are others reactions to you taking pain meds (family,
friends, doctors, strangers…)?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Difficulty/non-difficulty in getting pain relief?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How do you feel about taking pain meds?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Stigma regarding those who take pain meds/being labeled a
“druggie”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Getting meds at the ER or in the hospital</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Alternative methods of pain management</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">4. Treatment options,
hormones and medications</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What treatment options were presented to you by your
doctor?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Which did you decide to do?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Did you try Lupron? How did it affect you?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How did the hormones affect you and your life?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What side effects did you experience from the medications other than hormones?
How did they affect your life?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">5. Infertility,
wanting a child, not being able to conceive</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What emotions do you feel when you are waiting to see if
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<div class="MsoNormal">
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again?</div>
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relationship with your significant other? Other family members?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Friends? Strangers?</div>
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or have little kids?</div>
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-How do people who know you are trying to conceive treat
you?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What have people who don’t know what you are going through
say to you?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What is the actual experience like when dealing with shots,
pills, hormones, ovulation predictors etc.?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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everyday living: job, friendships, finances etc.?</div>
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self-worth, self-love?</div>
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life is consumed by the endo?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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make sex easier/less painful?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What has it done to your relationships with your
significant others, family members, friends, coworkers bosses, strangers?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-When in the relationship do you tell your
boyfriend/girlfriend that you have endo?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How does endo affect your dating/social life?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What does your spouse think of your endo/ how does he or
she deal with it?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Which relationships in your life have been supportive throughout
your ordeal?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Which relationships were destroyed due to endo?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How do you like the significant people in your life to treat
you?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What are some things that the significant people in your
life do to show that they are there for you?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Have you made any relationships because of the endo?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">7. Hysterectomy</b></div>
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deciding whether to have it?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Did you get a second opinion?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How did you feel in the days leading up to the hysterectomy?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How did you feel after the hysterectomy?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Did you have or want any children before the hysterectomy?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Do you find yourself wanting (more) children now?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Is it painful to see pregnant women or women with little
children?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How did your significant other feel about the hysterectomy?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Do you stand by your decision to get a hysterectomy or do
you regret it?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Did you get a hysterectomy thinking it would ‘cure’ your
endo?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Did the hysterectomy help with the endo/ do you still have
pain?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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-If not, do you have menopausal symptoms?</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">8. Hospitalizations/surgeries</b></div>
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endo?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What were your experiences like in the hospital?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
-Were they helpful?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Did you try other treatment options before you decided on
surgery?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How did you feel before the surgeries? After?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Did you have any unique experiences with any of your
surgeries or hospitalizations?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">9. Life with endo</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How has having endo affected your daily living?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How has having endo affected your job?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Have you connected with others who have endo?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Do you have a support system that helps you cope?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Have you joined any support groups? Do they help?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How do you deal with being a mother, daughter, wife, sister
etc. while having endo?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What are other symptoms of endo that affect your life
(fatigue, stomach issues…)?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How do those symptoms affect you and your life?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">10. Overall words of
wisdom</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What words of strength do you tell yourself to help you get
through the day?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What have you learned from having endo?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What would you tell someone who is newly diagnosed?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Have you learned anything from other women with endo?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-How do you stay strong when the going gets tough?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Do you have a faith or religion that helps you stay strong?
What does it teach?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-82896829765372419792013-08-28T14:28:00.000-07:002013-08-28T14:28:39.619-07:00The Task At Hand<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>The following are your tasks, my friend, if you so choose to take them...</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BACKGROUND #1</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are living with symptoms that don’t add up to any well-known
disease. You have terrible pain either in conjunction with your cycle, or
sometimes all the time, pain during intercourse and bowel and bladder problems.
Your period is often heavy or irregular. You are constantly fatigued and
nauseated, and, to your immense unhappiness, you are having trouble conceiving.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
TASK#1</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Convince a doctor to figure out what is wrong with you. Go
to specialist after specialist and describe your symptoms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t get frustrated when he or she sends you
to a different doctor, saying that whatever you have is not under their
jurisdiction. Try not to become overwhelmed when you are sent for MRI’s, CT
scans, X-rays, sonograms, and blood tests and they all come back negative. Pretend
to be strong when you are told time after time that nothing is wrong with you. Try
not to kill the doctor who tells you that your symptoms are all in your head. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-- </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BACKGROUND #2</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Imagine your abdomen and pelvis are indeed encased in barbed
wire so that the spikes of the wire are actually piercing them, stabbing them
sharply every time you move. Now imagine that the barbed wire is actually
attached to some sort of electrical current that shoots electricity through the
spikes, increasing the intensity of each penetration. Next, add a machine that alternates
shooting the electrical spikes into the body and pulling them out again in
random intervals, thus adding a surprise and shock factor to the pain. Lastly,
in addition to the shocking electrical stabbing pain, there are deep,
underlying waves of pain that crush and release the muscles, causing a cramp so
excruciating it takes your breath away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
TASK #2</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Live with the
aforementioned pain for a minimum of one week of the month, and for maximum of
every day of your life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Act normally,
smile and say “great” when someone asks you how you are, or carry on a three
minute conversation. Perform every day activities, like food shop, or make
dinner. Go out with your friends a night, see a movie and try to sit for the
full two hours without fidgeting. Go to work and act like all the other employees,
make sure no one knows you’re in pain. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Go
on a date with your significant other and make love to him or her without
mentioning the agony you are in once. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
--</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BACKGROUND #3</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You have been in excruciating pain for the past three days.
You’ve tried every method of pain relief possible, from a hot water bottle to heavy-duty
narcotics. Nothing has helped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are
at the point where you would wish you were not alive, and you decide to go to
the emergency room. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
TASK #3</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wait three hours in the waiting room, writhing in agony
until you are triaged and they decided you are in enough pain to earn a coveted
bed in the emergency room. Change into gown while you feel like you are going
to pass out. Next, drag yourself over to the bathroom to ensure that you get
your all-important urine in a cup <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">before</i>
you even dare to think about receiving pain medication.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stumble your way over to your bed and try to hold
your screams in while you are prodded and stabbed with an IV needle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wait another hour before a doctor actually saunters
over to you like he has all the time in the world. Try to explain to the doctor
how much pain you are in, what endometriosis is, and how much medication you
need, and then try again after he accuses you of having ‘drug seeking behavior’.
Try for the third time after he prescribes Motrin for you instead of the
narcotics that you most definitely need. Wait another hour to receive the
narcotics you so valiantly fought for. Attempt with all your strength to not
yell at the nurse who goes on break instead of getting the pain medication that
she promised to get you. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And lastly,
continue to be optimistic as you leave the hospital while contorting in agony,
no better off than when you came.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
--</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BACKGROUND #4</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your body feels as though you are nine-months pregnant with
quadruplets. Your limbs feel like they are wrapped in lead, and your eyelids covered
in cement. All you want to do is climb into bed and sleep for sixteen hours. In
addition to the exhaustion, you are immensely nauseated at all times. Every item
that you place in your mouth causes you to either become nauseated or throw up.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
TASK#4</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Make sure that you do not slack off while doing any of your
everyday activities. Ensure that you eat enough to keep your energy high. Go to
work. Fulfill every task you have there without once slowing down. Do not drink
any caffeine, as it makes you sick. Go out to eat with friends but don’t let
them know that you can’t eat anything on the menu.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t get hurt when they call you “flaky” for
cancelling on them. Play ball and horse around with your children, if you are
fortunate enough to have any. Feed, bathe and dress them and put them to bed.
Ensure that they are unaware of your exhaustion. Spend time with your
significant other without yawning. Sleep six hours a night, wake up refreshed
and repeat. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
--</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BACKGROUND #5</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are tried for many years to conceive. Despite numerous medications
and shots, intrauterine inseminations and in-vitro fertilizations, you still
remain childless. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
TASK #5
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pretend to be happy when your friend is pregnant. Paste a
smile on your face and hug her without letting your jealousy and anger emanate
through. Jump up and down and scream when your sister or sister-in-law has a
baby and jump at the opportunity to baby sit whenever you are asked. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Continue to spend as much time as you can with
all your pregnant and parent friends and ooh and ahh over their children’s pictures
when they are shown to you proudly. Never, ever let it slip that you wish you
had one of your own.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Make sure that your relationship with your husband remains
sensual despite the constant need to plan sex. Don’t let your sex life become
all about getting pregnant, and try not to remind him that you are ovulating when
you are making love. Try not to focus too much on the all the money
you have spent on trying to become pregnant. And don’t allow yourself to become too disappointed when you
get your period every month. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Would you choose any of these tasks if it were up to you?</b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-54217075386094772722013-08-27T17:08:00.001-07:002013-08-27T17:08:56.024-07:00Endo Warriors <br />
Hello all. This past Sunday I went to a support group led by a group of women called the Endo Warriors. These meetings, led by three unbelievably knowledgeable and capable women, are a medium in which women with endometriosis can join together to give and receive emotional support. Seeing such an eclectic group of women gather together to help each other is both inspiring and uplifting and each time I'm there I find myself amazed at the amount of strength and inner beauty these warriors
have. I leave each meeting feeling like I am fortified with enough unconditional love, knowledge and support to last a lifetime. I am so proud to call myself an Endo Warrior.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>E</b></span><span style="font-size: large;">mpowering</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: red;">N</span></b>ovel</span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>D</b></span><span style="font-size: large;">eeply dedicated</span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>O</b></span><span style="font-size: large;">utrageously</span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>W</b></span><span style="font-size: large;">onderful</span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>A</b></span><span style="font-size: large;">we-inspiring</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: red;">R</span></b>esilient and strong</span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>R</b></span><span style="font-size: large;">eadily available</span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>I</b></span><span style="font-size: large;">mmensely knowledgeable </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: red;">O</span></b>verwhelmingly supportive</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: red;">R</span></b>adiant, powerful</span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>S</b></span><span style="font-size: large;">isters.</span><br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-33952961588786523472013-08-23T11:45:00.000-07:002013-08-23T11:45:07.524-07:00a little business...Hey guys,<br />
I just wanted to let you all know that if you are interested in donating some money for my book, you can donate at: http://www.gofundme.com/2cun6g . Anything and everything is incredibly helpful and appreciated!!<br />
RachelAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-70063427006037113092013-08-20T12:29:00.002-07:002013-08-20T12:29:24.633-07:00Minor Details<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b><span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">For me, and many women that I have spoken to who have endometriosis, a difficult part of living with endo is the feeling that everyone around us is busy changing, growing and enjoying themselves while we remain unchanged, just trying to focus on making it through the day. Sometimes, it's as though the world is turning while we stand still...</span></b></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Minor Details. The little things in life that are often left
unnoticed. The middle toe on my daughters foot that</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’</span><span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">s bigger than her big toe, the way my son</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’</span><span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">s fine blond hair forms a triangle at the nape of his
neck,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and a birthmark, no larger than a
grain of barley, on the inside of my husband</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’</span><span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">s
ear. Those tiny little oddities, undetectable unless deliberately searched for,
that individualize every person, situation, and object.</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"> </span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’</span><span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">ve been noticing the minor
details a lot more often these days. All of those imperceptible building blocks
that make up each part of my life with endo. The way I blink twice as often as
usual nowadays since I am inexplicably and unbearably exhausted. The exact way
I can curl my body while lying on the couch so that the pain that courses
through it becomes a tiny drop less agonizing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The way the crack on the ceiling that I stare at for hours when I am
bedridden looks just like a bunny. And the way my daughter</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’</span><span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">s smile falters, just slightly, when I tell her for the umpteenth
time, that I don</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’</span><span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">t feel well enough to play
with her. </span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">You see, when the world passes you by, second by second,
minute by minute, as you lay glued to your couch or bed in a fetal position,
you begin to notice the little details in your life that have changed without
your involvement. You suddenly become aware that the tree that stood bare and
severe yesterday has grown a tiny, fragile bud, and it occurs to you that you
completely missed a winter of building fat snowmen and drinking hot chocolate while you
screamed hysterically in pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
notice that your son is tying his own shoe and a stab in your heart reminds you
that someone else taught him to do it while you slept the day away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You observe the tiny orange-brown freckles on
your daughter</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’</span><span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">s nose, and realize that it is
summer, and your daughter graduated preschool while you lay in a hospital room receiving
IV narcotics.</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Minor details can be used to create depth and dimension to
make life a little more beautiful, giving a sense of individuality and
uniqueness to every person and object. But for me, it is through the little details that I
comprehend the harsh and painful truth about my life with endometriosis: as the
world changes and morphs consistently and predictably, as my family grows,
develops and improves with each passing minute, I remain stagnant and
unchanged, fighting for the day in which I will notice each miniscule detail of
my life and feel proud that I was involved in creating them.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-4585702313724965692013-08-17T19:09:00.000-07:002013-08-17T19:09:20.102-07:00Dealing with Infertility<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b>Did you know that endometriosis is the third leading cause of infertility in women? I hope you find that the following post gives a voice to the many women who struggle daily with the burning desire to conceive.</b></div>
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My period begins again…as does the
heartache, the emptiness, the letdown, and, of course, the excruciating pain
that rears its ugly head along with it. I am a vacant container without a
purpose in this desolate existence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
heart, once full of happiness and vivacity, is a stormy wasteland.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bleeding flows, as do my tears. They
gather in the emptiness that is my heart and drown me. I am drowning in pain,
too empty to fight for air. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I have no purpose in this world. Others
don’t understand. “You have so much else in your life,” they say, “focus on
something else, forget about having a baby.” But my one desire, the sole
yearning that fills my heart, is to have a child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And every month, the blood arrives and my
hope flutters away. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Jealousy creeps through my veins and freezes my heart. One
more hit and it may just shatter into a million translucent pieces. My life is
an endless circle right now, delicate hope bleeding into complete devastation
and then drying up into fragile optimism once more. I am dizzy with the
constant cycle of despair and anticipation that fills my days. I despise the
fortunate women who carry life inside them. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What makes them worthy while I am so undeserving?</div>
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<br /></div>
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I ache for the day that I can hold my baby in my arms, the day that I become
sure that I am not a purposeless, empty shell but a significant, fertile life-giver. And I know that despite all odds, I
will endure each month with my head held high. Because I will never let go of
that whisper of hope that still remains.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-35516091603789417252013-08-15T11:33:00.000-07:002013-08-15T11:33:00.917-07:00Does My Pain Define Me?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I am a slave to
my pain. My every action, every choice, every decision is dictated by my pain.
My pain is a tyrant, a merciless, iron-fisted ruler who fights ruthlessly and
takes no prisoners. I am a peasant, a humble, lowly serf who is
swayed and controlled by its master’s every whim. I am a marionette and my pain
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My parenting, sleeping, and daily living are all
controlled by pain. I don’t know how to speak to my children anymore. I merely
allow myself to lose all control and scream at them constantly. And then at
night, after they go to bed, I watch their serene faces, smooth with sleep and
beautiful in their innocence and I cry hysterical anguished sobs at the way I
treated them that day. But was it me who spoke to them that way? Was it me who
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anguished woman who doesn’t know how to deal with life anymore? I am
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My kind-hearted
innocent husband suffers from my pain as well. When was the last time I allowed
myself to display the passionate love I feel for him? When did I last let him
take me in his arms and adore me? The pain is
my lover now. It is a jealous abusive lover who pummels my body, riddles it
with beatings, and comes back daily with more. And yet I am intertwined with
it, defined by it.</div>
<br />
But I cannot allow it to conquer me. Instead, I need to prepare for battle. I must take my aching, beaten body, gird it with strength, and begin to believe in myself. Because in the end, having faith in myself, a strong, courageous, and proud woman, will help me emerge victorious. And pain: merciless and cruel, will never again define me.<br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-69558203662832176562013-08-14T17:12:00.000-07:002013-08-15T11:40:22.248-07:00My Best Friends<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My Best Friends<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: body-text; tab-stops: 272.0pt;">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Welcome back my
friend Sorrow </span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: body-text; tab-stops: 272.0pt;">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">how I’ve missed
the way you hug my body tightly and never let go. </span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: body-text; tab-stops: 272.0pt;">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Pleasure to see
you Worry </span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: body-text; tab-stops: 272.0pt;">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">my mind has felt
empty without your constant conversation.</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: body-text; tab-stops: 272.0pt;">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So glad you’re
back, Pain </span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: body-text; tab-stops: 272.0pt;">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have felt
confused without your consistent reminders.</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: body-text; tab-stops: 272.0pt;">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And greetings to
you Sadness</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: body-text; tab-stops: 272.0pt;">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">it’s been lonely
without your ubiquitous shadow.</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: body-text; tab-stops: 272.0pt;">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am so lucky to
have you, my best friends, </span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: body-text; tab-stops: 272.0pt;">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I can always count
on you to return </span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: body-text; tab-stops: 272.0pt;">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">unlike my old
friend Hope</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: body-text; tab-stops: 272.0pt;">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">who always leaves
me when I need her the most. </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750762826859437005.post-24532067242575460052013-08-14T16:12:00.000-07:002013-08-14T13:21:08.858-07:00Confession time<b>Confession number one</b>: I procrastinate. Not very often, and not for too long, but I am finally admitting to the world, that I am a procrastinator. Or maybe not the <i>whole</i> world, because I have no followers yet, but I'm hoping that will change.<br />
<br />
I've been thinking of making a blog for awhile now. "You gotta make a blog!" all my friends keep telling me, "If you want people to know about you and your book (more on that later), then you have to write a blog!" Of course they're right. But between dealing with chronic pain (more on that later), and taking care of my children (no, they are not the chronic pain that I am talking about), blogging just sat on the back burner.<br />
<br />
Until now. The time has officially come for me to produce a blog. "Why?" you ask. "what is it about you that warrants a blog?" Good question. And so I am brought to <b>confession number two</b>: I need publicity. Lot and lots of it. You see, I am writing a book. A book about a disease that affects about 8.5 million women in North America alone, myself included. And that, my friends, brings me to <b>confession number three</b>: I have endometriosis. <br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Here's a quick crash course on endometriosis (please be aware that the information that I am giving you is in no way a full picture of the endometriosis disease): Endometriosis, or endo as it is often called,
is a disease that affects woman from as early as age eight. The name endometriosis comes from the word ‘endometrium,’
the tissue that lines the inside of the uterus. This tissue builds up
and sheds each month during the menstrual cycle. When a woman has
endometriosis, this lining, which is only supposed to be <span class="text_exposed_show">in
the uterus, grows in other areas of the body, such as the ovaries, </span></span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"> </span></span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show">fallopian tubes, bladder, and bowel.</span></span> As
a result, tissue develops into what are called lesions, nodules,
implants, growths or tumors.</span></span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"> While not all women experience symptoms of endomtriosis, those who do have symptoms such as excruciatingly painful menstrual cramps, irregular or heavy menstruation, chronic pain in the lower back and pelvis, and pain during and after intercourse,. Endometriosis is also one of the top three causes of female infertility.</span></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /></span></span>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show">So why do I feel the need to write a book on endometriosis? To answer that question we are brought to my <b>fourth and final confession: </b></span></span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show">There
was a time in my life, when I was first diagnosed with endometriosis
that I was so miserably lonely, so sure that I was the only one who
suffered, sure that no one could understand what I was going through. I
was so despaired, so alone, that I wanted to take my own life. I didn’t
want to live in the solitude that I felt like defined me. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show">But against all odds, here I am. Alive, strong, and happy. Why? Because of other women’s support. Because of the
knowledge that I discovered: I AM NOT ALONE. There are millions of warm, knowledgeable, wonderful women with endometriosis who are
thrilled to share their stories with other women and girls so that we
don’t feel alone. And now I want to give back. I want to take these
beautiful women’s stories, shape them into a book, and share them with
others who are in despair. Share them with those who feel their lives
are defined by the misery and solitude of this disease. Teach them that
they are not alone. Every woman with endometriosis has a unique story
to tell, each with its own innate set of learning experiences, each with
its own strength to draw from. I feel that a book is an unbelievable
way to collect these stories of strength and fortitude and share them,
not only with those who have the disease, but with those who need to
understand.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show">So please, follow my blog as I write about my experiences with endo, the painful, the hopeful, the dark and the light. Share your stories and experiences here <i>with</i> me, so that I can learn from you, and find strength and solace in your words, as you find the same in mine. I can't promise you that each post will be cheerful and upbeat, as life with endo rarely is, but I can promise openness, honesty, and a sense of belonging for all of you who choose to join me on this journey. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show">And when the time comes for my book to be published, with G-d's help, I hope that you will read it and share it so that together we can make a difference in the future of those with endometriosis.</span></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /></span></span>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show">Thanks for reading,</span></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show">Rachel Cohen </span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893863021812672194noreply@blogger.com0